Holding Leo

    It communicates so much to us when you hold Leo. I think the basics of what it communicates is that I'm not alone--we're not alone--and you care for us even though there are different, weird, uncomfortable, scary things about Leo's special needs. But it communicates all of that and more on a deep level. 

  What goes on in my head when someone is holding Leo:

    "Oh, he's unhappy. He's arching and pushing. Are they ok? Is he ok? Should I say something to help them help him stop arching? I don't know if what I say will even help. Will it come across as controlling, untrusting, too much? Are they frustrated? Do they want me to take him back? I want them to feel trusted by me with my kid. I don't want them to feel burdened by him. I want to help because he's not easy to hold. It takes time and experience to get used to. Ok, don't keep glancing over. But are they ok?"

    My fears are to be a hovering and controlling mother and friend. My fears are also that Leo will puke on you, you'll get mad, you'll feel uncomfortable and never want to do it again. My desires are to help teach you about Leo, but also let you and Leo figure each other out. He needs to know more than just me. I need time away from him. 

    If you hold or sit with Leo, please know that it touches us very deeply. Thanks for entering in to all of this with us. We are not alone. Leo's got awesome stuff to share with us, it's just not what we're used to :)

    Thank you.