Clarifying the purpose of this blog

    I don't know why I'm having a hard time starting this post. So, see I've been floundering with writing another update because I have this internal conflict. One side says, "I need to talk about Leo, how he's doing, and nothing else." The other side says, "There's not much to update on so do you need to keep writing?" And, yet, another side says, "Your friends read this to hear about Leo, not your thoughts."

    But, in reality, this blog has changed its shape. It started the night Leo was born. It was a way to tell our community what was up for Brad, Leo, and me as the world as we knew it had shattered. It was way easier to write one post than send a thousand texts (and that's zero complaint about having community and people to text). It was literally the medical updates that doctors would give. And throughout Leo's life, those have gone from multiple updates in a day, to multiple appointments in a week, to months and months without appointments. 

    So, even though this explanation isn't completely necessary, I'm going to spell some things out here. It's helpful for me. And I think it's informative if you are curious about our lives. 

    First, this blog is going from "medical updates" to "family life with a neurodivergent child". And it has been this for a while, but I was just able to put this to words recently. It's more of a journal for me. I want to tell our community how Leo is doing. I know we will have days where we get really hard news and I want to tell people. I know there will be more medical procedures, issues, etc. However, praise God, the medical updates are fewer and far between. But I want to keep this space. And I want to honor Leo's autonomy in this too (an interesting thing to ponder). I want a space where I can say 1) "this is how life is different for us than those around me" and 2) "this is how life for us is the same as those around us." Does that make sense? 

    And if God allows us to have another kid or more kids, my what a journey that will be. I know that if I am ever pregnant again, I will have a lot of things to work through mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically because of Leo's birth. And if we have a neurotypical kid sometime, I wanna write about the joys of their relationship with Leo. I want space to write about the things that I don't know how to bring up in conversation. And I want space to give words to difficult emotions. 

    Second, I am not going to post these updates on my facebook page anymore. If you want to keep following our story then you'll have to bookmark or check the blog page. And, again, we are very grateful for the community around us. I have a fear that getting off of social media will decrease our community. I want our gratitude to be clear. But I am working on getting off of social media and this is something that I'm using to hold on to it. It's a heart thing for me. I know that's not helpful to you if you are desiring to keep up with us. But here's something that needs to be said, 

    We can't keep up with everybody. Social media sometimes gives us too much information. I can't carry the weight of all of the problems on social media. And to be honest sometimes the joys stir up comparison and discontentment in my heart. I need to focus on my life right in front of me. 

    This is a little bit of where God has me with this. 

    I think all of this could be summed up in that this blog is going to be viewed by me as much more of a journal. As always, to those who are in our community, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being with us. We are still here. We will be here on the web for a good long while. And here's to changing the days of the people we interact with and treating everyone as a child of God.