Happy December

      Can I just say that it's crazy to have gone from posting multiple times a day and giving hospital updates to not having posted for like a month because life isn't as chaotic as it used to be? Whoa. We so appreciate everyone who cares to hear how Leo is doing. I enjoy writing these updates. It's nice to have one place to be able to tell people and it's also a little bit of a processing tool for me. I have tried to approach these posts as informational, mostly. But as we discover a bit more what stability can look like for us, I think that there is less information to update on. However, I still want to write updates. I know things won't always be this stable. They may get more stable. They may get less stable. Así es la vida. So these posts may turn into more of me sharing about life with special needs in our family and not only how Leo is doing. Life with Leo teaches me a lot of things, and I enjoy a platform to share them on. 

    All of that being said, I'd love to share what's been going on in our house for the past month.

    Well, a big one is the Leo fractured a rib. We found out about it after it had healed. It was unsettling. After some more xrays and bloodwork we didn't find a clear reason. We have heard from the doctor and some families who have experience with Leo's types of issues that Leo's bones may be a bit weaker than ours due to the fact that he doesn't bear weight on them. It adds another layer to things for sure. It's something new to consider when we don't know why Leo is upset. It will take some time to adjust between worrying about everything and reading his body with that in mind. 

    It was a little unsettling to think that he had fractured a rib and we didn't know. The devil sure wants to fill your head with lies. But it can strengthen our surrender to God. And no one does parenting perfectly. We do not take the responsibility of being Leo's parents lightly. Brad and I discuss together about how to enable others to care for him, who to ask for help, how to ask for help, and all that stuff. But the reality is that we need help and it can't but just the two of us who care for Leo. So when something like this happens, Satan wants to take it and run with it. He tells us that we're crappy judges of character and that every person is out to hurt Leo and etc. Obviously, I exaggerate. But this can be what Satan does with worry. I have prayed that God would just make it clear to us if Leo needs different care or if something is going on. Because we can never remove all reason to worry. Because we are not in complete control. 

    Another thing that we can update on is feeding and puking and weight--oh the joys. Let me first say that his weight is going up. Sometimes more than others, but we are still going up! Praise Jesus! I think I mentioned before that we switched his feeding schedule up. He went from 3 meals a day to 4 so that we could lessen how much he gets at night and see if that would help him sleep through the night. Well, I can tell you there has, for sure, been more laundry because Leo is puking more. They are mostly smaller pukes, and it's not like his puking used to be (in the formula days). He's more pukey during his last meal of the day and if he has just had his medicines. But even with more pukes he's still been gaining. The tricky part is that as he gains we need to be able to increase the food some, too. As he gains he needs more calories. Our part is just to be consistent with the feeding schedule to, hopefully, allow him to adjust to eating more during the day so that the puking might lessen again. And hopefully he can then adjust to eating a little bit more food when we need to increase the volume. All that to say, feeding has been a bit more high maintenance but it's going mostly well. AND, his nights have been so much better! He has been sleeping past 5am for a while now, maybe around a month. I lost track after two weeks. 

    Speaking of nights, our sleep safe bed was approved by insurance! That means that we have a delivery date scheduled. It may come earlier. It may come later. We are very excited to get Leo out of a pack and play and into his own "big boy bed". It will be so good for whoever is caring for him that the mattress is higher and we won't have to bend down to help him. 

    Therapies are going really well (other than a little bit of sickness). The biggest things right now are still his stander and his stroller. Our therapists are amazing and little lion man is seriously killing it. As always, my prayer is for the mental part of having so many therapies. Right now, I have to remind myself that Leo is doing well and that it's ok to not do as much therapy when he's sick. The temptation is to always feel like I should be doing more, which leads to feeling like I'm never doing enough (yes, I'm aware that I used "always" and "never". I'm using global terms because that's what it feels like ;) ). Life is full and good and hard. And it's hard to balance therapies and the discipline that it takes to do them every day and also deal with the voice in my head that says I'm not doing enough (because, let's be real, it doesn't matter how much I do that voice will still tell me the same thing). 

    We try and just keep in mind that Leo has a good life. He is well taken care of. He is blessed to have all of the resources and opportunities that he does have. We remind ourselves to just enjoy the lion man because he is so fun. We just don't want that voice of doing more to take away from the good life we have. We fight to not let it rob us. So, yeah, prayer for the mental game of therapy.

    In a bit of other news, Christmas just brings new enjoyment of our house. We feel a deeper level of appreciation for our house as we put up a Christmas tree, get window blinds (I was real excited for this one), straighten up our spare room, organize the basement, and such. It's so sweet to have this space to rest in and to share with others. Again, thank you to all who played a part in fixing up this house for us. It is such a gift.