More Waiting...

     When it's more waiting, the update is much more about how we are doing day-to-day then what has changed with Leo. Unfortunately, things haven't really changed. He didn't gain weight at his weigh in yesterday. I wasn't really expecting much, but for sure hoping for it. Friends, hoping is tiring. Those are the days that I tell God to just tell me what Leo's future will look like so that I can prepare for it. But reality is that we have hope even if we don't feel like hoping. In the tired moments, we lean on the Lord who tells us that this world--all of its hurt and sickness and injury and what not--is not our home. We're just here for now. We'll move on into eternity, and I'm glad that I know we'll be ok for eternity, even if things on this earth get hard. 

    The one new thing that we are more aware of is the Leo might need a feeding tube. The doctor yesterday mentioned it to me as a possibility. She was not saying it for certain but she just wanted me to not be caught off guard. It was nice to hear a doctor say something that I've been wondering. And, ultimately, if that's what Leo needs to get nutrition then we want that for him. But it also makes us sad to think of him with a feeding tube. We didn't want that. We never pictured that. I'm nervous for the care. But God knows.

    That's basically it. We've got a bunch of appointments in the last week of October. We are hoping for answers, but doing our best to trust God with the knowns and the unknowns. We can't prepare ourselves for what's coming or worst case scenario. We just need to rest in the arms of the one who knows and he will give us the ticket when we need it. The best we can do is to be faithful to what God has called us to do today. Prayer for strength is appreciated. 

    Emotional side note: it's hard to feed Leo and work hard at giving him enough and helping him with reflux and for him to still not be gaining weight. I don't feel like a failure because I know I'm doing everything I can to take care of him. But it feels helpless because I'm doing everything I can and it doesn't feel like it's helping. Truth is, God is in control of healthy and unhealthy kids. So being pushed to the point of trusting him with Leo's life is a really sweet place to be. The pain isn't sweet. But the truth that we are pushed to is. And I don't want to sound depressed. Life with Leo is really sweet! He is such a happy little boy and pretty resilient. He makes our lives so much better and we are so lucky to have him. 

    Thanks for sticking with us!


Psalm 112:7 "He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord."

Comments

  1. LOISOctober 12, 2021 at 5:16 PM

    1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for us”. Just throw it on him, and let him carry your burdens. Jesus said we could cast all of our cares on him because he cares for us! There is nothing we are going through that we cannot cast on the Lord.
    This is the scripture verse my mother who would be Little Leo's Great Great Great Aunt taught and said over and over to me when I was nine years old and had polio. I have leaned on and prayed for my life, I'm 81 now. I am sharing this because I want you to know somehow someway Jesus is carrying you and hearing you. I feel love and sadness for you and want you to know I care, I admire your faith and I am so thankful you have his love in your hearts,

    ReplyDelete
  2. JesOctober 13, 2021 at 7:38 AM

    Charis, You are a testimony, living and breathing. You are purposeful in turning your eyes to Jesus and choosing hope over despair. You're probably thinking that I don't see all the down times you have, but I know, those are there. And still, in your fatigue, in your sadness, in your pain, you choose Jesus over and over. May my prayers and those of so many others, lift you and give you strength as you wait on him. Love you. ❤️

    ReplyDelete

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