One Month

[Charis here. Also, photo dump below] 

It was one week yesterday since Leo was discharged from the hospital. Wow, now even Philly feels like a world away. What a month Leo has lived on the "outside world"!

Having him home has consisted of appointments, pumping (for me), diaper changes, feeding him, some tube care, meeting family, and figuring out what nights look like. It's hard to feel like "routine" is attainable. But we will get there. Being able to take care of him ourselves has been wonderful, but we are still figuring out how to live in the present with Leo and wait to see what the doctors say he can and can't do. It's hard to not dread certain things or hope for certain things. But God is in control. And Leo is our little miracle.

He is taking bottles! So, as of yesterday, he is without a feeding tube. He pulled it out himself. At the hospital they always said, "We'll let Leo tell us when he's ready." Well, he told us. He had been taking the bottle for about 24 hours before pulling out the tube. We called our pediatrician and he said that we can continue to see how the bottle goes and not put the tube back in (unless needed). We have an appointment tomorrow to check his weight. Because he came home with a feeding tube and his feeding schedule has been incredibly regimented, the doctors are checking in on us a lot to help us adjust what we need to make sure that he is gaining and growing. Prayers appreciated that Leo can stay on the bottle, but I really do think that if the tube goes back in, it will be temporary.

Leo sleeps well at night, too. We are waking up to feed him every three hours. Family has been helping us with the nights. He also needs to be kept upright after eating to make sure he doesn't spit up too much. Whoever spends the night usually does that part while Brad or I go back to bed. And now that he does the bottle, we are able to have more help with feeding him (as opposed to the tube feed). We would also ask that you pray that his cry would come. He doesn't cry so we are learning the ways that he tells us he's hungry. I do believe that the not crying could be a result of the brain damage. I don't know what it means, but it's hard to not imagine sometimes. Yes, I'm aware that cry's would make the nights much more miserable, but we are praying for recovery not convenience. 

Today I gave Leo his first bath and he also napped in his crib! Here are some photos. We can't say thank you enough. Thank you for lifting Leo and us before the throne of God. We serve a God who knows everything. I told my mom that one of the biggest things Leo has taught me is to live in today because we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Whatever we are planning could change. We truly have no control over tomorrow (however much we like to convince ourselves that we do). It's scary to realize all that is out of our control. But I invite you to live as though tomorrow's hopes and dreams are not guaranteed. What do you think God has for you today? What really matters?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Praising God for his many blessings.